Writer's Journal #4

I remember when I was a kid, I used to struggle telling my mom and dad how I felt. When I got sad or upset, I would just hide my emotions and hold it in. Both my parents and I realized that it was becoming more harmful to me to stay that way especially as I got older. Communication is vital in adulthood. They suggested that I start journaling and writing to express my feelings. That is when I started to become a writer. I would write down everything that made me upset, hurt my feelings, or even the happy thoughts I never shared with anyone. One day my parents really upset me. I do not remember exactly what happened, but I know I wrote them a long letter saying how I felt. Unfortunately, the letter was very passionate and said some things that were mean to say to your parents. I did not mean to come off as aggressive, I was just expressing my feelings. They were really hurt and I ended up apologizing for the way I worded what I said.

I think what went wrong was the fact that I had very little experience with writing and expressing my thoughts at the time. I was listing concrete thoughts but not explaining more of why I felt the way I did. I think if I had been more descriptive and thoughtful when I wrote the letter, my parents would have reacted differently. Now that I am older, I know it is important to be thinking of your audience and how they see and interpret your writing. When I wrote that letter years ago, I was not thinking of my audience (my parents) at the time. I was more thinking about myself.

Now as an adult I would probably use a lot of “I feel….when…” statements because I have taken communication classes as well. I would probably write more about the hurt I feel when they say certain things. I would write the letter as more of a conversation with them versus an attack on them. I would also use specific examples. People like having specific examples that they can refer to when they do not understand what I am trying to say. So instead of saying, “you guys are always yelling at me, “ I could say “when I asked for an extra piece of candy, you yelled at me and said I do not need anymore junk food in my life.” This way they can go to that specific moment in time and reflect on how they could have handled it better. It is important to write clearly and concisely so that the audience is able to understand what the writer is trying to tell them.